


From the Ashes

by 4thofFive



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 16:58:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1786444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4thofFive/pseuds/4thofFive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve pushes Danny away the Jersey native meets and falls in love with a beautiful HPD Sergeant. But will tragedy threaten his relationships?</p>
            </blockquote>





	From the Ashes

Danny Williams had this problem. He fell in love kind of easily. Worse than that though, when the person he was in love with no longer loved him, he fell out of love rather hard. He believed in doing love like he believed in doing police work – full on, total commitment and working at it until he was exhausted.  
   
   
Naturally doing love like that meant it was easy for him to get hurt and now he was hurt. Twisting in the gut hurt because of Steven J. McGarrett USNR. He and Steve had been partners and best friends for well over a year but had been lovers for three months and as far as Danny was concerned, things were going really well. He loved Steve. Loved being around him, loved having sex with him (really loved that), loved the way Steve was with Gracie and loved the way Steve looked at him when he thought Danny couldn’t see him. Danny could see himself spending the rest of his life with Steve.  
   
   
True, they hadn’t moved in together or told anyone they were together…or gone on any dates or…promised each other anything…but…Danny sighed and rubbed his hands through his hair causing a mess that would be difficult to fix without a wet comb. The truth was he’d gone ahead and fallen in love with said Steve J. McGarrett but Steve McGarrett apparently didn’t feel the same way. Danny knew this because Catherine was in town and she and Steve were spending the weekend together eating, swimming and fucking, not necessarily in that order.  
   
   
Danny’s cheeks flared with embarrassment when he thought about how Steve had announced that particular little gem of information to him. Danny had gone to his partner’s office on Friday night – a weekend without Grace that they would usually spent in bed (or the couch or the kitchen table) having sex and eating take-out.  
   
   
 _“Hey, so what time should I come over tonight?” Danny asked his voice all but vibrating with excitement._  
   
   
 _Steve looked up from the paperwork he was pretending to do._  
   
   
 _“Huh?”_  
   
   
 _Danny’s smiled slipped a little._  
   
   
 _“I was asking what time I should come over tonight.”_  
   
   
 _“Oh,” was Steve’s reply complete with dismissive hand wave. “Actually Catherine is coming for the weekend so I won’t be able to see you. I’ll catch up with you on Monday though ok?”_  
   
   
Danny rubbed his chest over his heart. He was stupid. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with Steve (although it was his every dream come true), if he got involved he shouldn’t have fallen in love (like he had any choice) he should have just had fun. But now he was in love and Steve wasn’t and what’s more, Steve was off schtupping his hot Navy girlfriend while Danny sat on his battered sofa bed and tried not to imagine what they were doing right now.  
   
   
It was up to Danny to end this and move on. He was a grown man for Christ’s sake. He had come into this thing with his eyes open and Steve had never once said anything about love or forever or commitment. It wasn’t anyone’s fault really – at least Danny tried to convince himself of that – Steve didn’t want to settle down, he probably didn’t want to settle down with another man and he certainly didn’t want to settle down with Danny, not when he could have his choice of beautiful women – or men.  
   
   
So when Monday came around and Steve sauntered into the office with that stupid, obnoxious grin on his face that everyone recognized as his “hey everyone, I got laid - repeatedly!” Danny just smiled at him, asked him how his weekend was and returned to his own glass-enclosed sanctuary.  
   
   
Later, when Steve asked his partner if he was coming over, Danny shook his head, said thanks but no thanks then left the building. The rest of the week kept up like that. By the end of the week he caught Steve giving him long, questioning looks but Danny was determined not to fall into the Steve McGarrett web again.  
   
   
Staying strong against Steve…and his body…and tattoos and everything else, became much easier a couple of weeks later when Danny met Sergeant Luisa Wong, an early 30’s part Asian part German beauty who was two inches taller than Danny, had a hearty laugh and was tougher than hell. The detective first saw the Sergeant at a crime scene efficiently ordering her men around and taking no crap from the media who wanted to get pictures of the bloody body under the sheet. Danny suddenly realized she was the hottest woman he’d seen since that fateful first day with 5-0 when Kono Kalakaua rose from the ocean dripping sea water and looking glorious in her bikini.  
   
   
Danny found an excuse to go and talk to Sergeant Wong and to praise her handling of the crime scene. She grinned down at him with a row of perfect, white teeth and he felt that familiar falling sensation.  
   
   
“Would you like to go out with me?” he blurted suddenly, unaware the words were even coming out of his mouth.  
   
   
The Sergeant looked him up and down appraisingly.  
   
   
“Sure. That sounds nice.”  
   
   
So here they were, it was Wednesday night and they were at a steak joint that actually knew how to cook meat properly and Danny could barely chew for just wanting to watch “Lu” as she insisted he call her, eat her steak appreciatively. Danny was used to women like Rachel who took a few bites of salad then claimed to be full so it was delightful to see this slender but wiry woman eat with a hearty appetite and not apologize for it.  
   
   
After supper they walked on the beach. It was corny as hell but Danny loved every moment of it, especially when she took his hand firmly and confidently in hers. They sat in the sand for several hours talking and laughing and Danny didn’t think he’d ever felt so...understood or appreciated or something.  
   
   
The best thing of all was finding out Lu’s dad had been a heavy-duty mechanic and her Mom had worked in a flower store. Good, honest salt-of-the-earth people after his own heart!  
   
   
Danny stood at Lu’s front door at midnight – much later than he ever thought the date would last – and fought the urge to make up some excuse to wangle an invitation inside.  
   
   
Lu looked down at him with shining eyes and put her finger under his chin to tip it up to meet her lips. She kissed him thoroughly and soundly, even giving a small moan which did wonders for Danny’s battered confidence.  
   
   
“I’m sorely tempted to invite you in and ravish you but I’m a lady and I don’t sleep with guys on first dates,” she said, her eyes narrowing slightly as if she expected him to argue.  
   
   
“I think that’s wise,” said Danny sounding surprisingly lucid. “I’m not very good at casual. I should warn you.”  
   
   
Lu smiled softly and Danny felt his dick twitch in his pants.  
   
   
“There’s not going to be anything casual about you and me Danny Williams,” she announced unhesitatingly. “Pick me up on Friday night and take me somewhere low-key and fun. I’ll be ready at 8.”  
   
   
Danny nodded dumbly and watched while she opened her front door and stepped into her small house. She looked back at him over her shoulder and gave a little full-body shimmy before laughing happily and shutting the door. Danny swallowed hard and turned to walk to his car careful not to reach down and adjust his half-hard cock in case she was watching out the window.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
“How was the date brah?” Kono asked loudly when Danny walked in the next morning, bleary-eyed but happy.  
   
   
He knew Kono was mad at Steve for not falling in love with Danny the way she thought he should and now she was determined to rub his face in it just a little. Danny didn’t know why she was taking it all so personally, it’s not like Steve had led him on or anything, but she was pissed and he couldn’t help feeling a small frisson of triumph at the look of shock on his partner’s face when she asked about his date.  
   
   
“Date?” asked Steve sharply, causing Kono to smirk.  
   
   
“Yeah date,” responded Danny pulling himself up to his full 5 foot 5 and grinning happily. He looked over at Kono.  
   
   
“It was amazing,” he shook his head in wonder. “The woman is…amazing.”  
   
   
Kono laughed happily and slugged Danny (not very gently) on the shoulder.  
   
   
“She came to talk to my class at the academy about women on the force. She was awesome and I developed a bit of a girl crush on her,” said Kono with a faraway look in her eyes.  
   
   
“Yeah well you’d better forget your crush,” Danny warned with a smile. “The only one who is allowed to have a crush on her is me.”  
   
   
“Who is this amazing woman that everyone has a crush on?” asked Steve in feigned nonchalance.  
   
   
“Sergeant Luisa Wong,” Kono answered before Danny could open his mouth. “Danny met her at the Logan crime scene and asked her out. She’s beautiful and smart and tough – just the kind of woman Danny needs.”  
   
   
Danny wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not but Steve’s eyes seem to flash with hurt before he turned to gaze at his partner.  
   
   
“Oh,” he said quietly. “That’s nice Danny. I umm…I hope it works out for you.”  
   
   
The detective nodded and muttered his thanks. He had hoped to crow a bit about the date with the hot cop but something on Steve’s face made him stop. Damned McGarrett!  
   
   
*********  
   
   
On Friday Danny took Lu to the batting cages then for pizza. They were going to go see a movie too but they’d started necking in the car in front of the pizza restaurant and Luisa ordered him in a husky voice to drive immediately to her house. He obeyed her without question – as he suspected he would do often in this blooming relationship – and the two were pulling each other’s clothes off before they had the front door closed.  
   
   
Danny was not a man to brag but he’d always been told he was good in the bedroom and judging from the sounds Lu made throughout the night, he thought he might still have some talents. He believed in holding himself back as long as possible (not an easy thing to do with such a beautiful woman) until his partner was fully satisfied. He also encouraged his partners to tell him what they liked but he didn’t need to do that with Luisa who kept up a steady stream of “right there,” “harder,” “not so much teeth,” and “god yes!” and who, not that he was counting, had three perfectly acceptable – judging from her screams – orgasms. The sleepy grin she gave him after the last one was more of a reward to him than his own two orgasms and he slept like a baby curled up around Lu in her firm yet comfy king-sized bed.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
“How are things going with ummm…your girlfriend?” asked Steve casually a week later as they were driving back from the North Shore after interviewing a potential witness to an attempted murder.  
   
   
“Luisa,” Danny reminded him with a roll of the eyes.  
   
   
“Yes, right. Luisa. How are things between the two of you?”  
   
   
Danny smiled and turned to look out the passenger side window.  
   
   
“Great. She’s wonderful.”  
   
   
“Have you ahh..?” Steve flattened his hand and tipped it back and forth.  
   
   
Danny looked back at him with incredulity.  
   
   
“What are you 13? I’m not going into details but, yes we’ve ahh…” Danny mocked, matching Steve’s hand gesture.  
   
   
“Oh good…that’s good,” continued Steve, clearing his throat and tightening his grip on the wheel. “You need someone in your life. You’re a great guy and you deserve to be happy.”  
   
   
Danny looked back at his partner and swallowed the lump in his throat before replying.  
   
   
“Thanks Steve.”  
   
   
The SEAL nodded and looked out his own side window for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road.  
   
   
“Because I couldn’t…you know,” Steve shrugged. “I’m not really…wired to make people happy I don’t think.”  
   
   
Danny pulled his lips between his teeth and turned his eyes back to stare out the passenger window.  
   
   
“I was happy with you,” he murmured quietly unsure if Steve heard him.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Three weeks and 15 dates later (all of them ending at Luisa’s house for the night) and it was time for Danny’s girlfriend – it was nice to use that term again although it sounded a bit silly at the age of 35 – to pass her most important test – meeting Grace.  
   
   
Danny was holding Grace’s hand as he walked to the picnic tables in front of Kamekona’s shrimp truck where he and Luisa had agreed to meet. Grace had been thoroughly briefed on this new woman in her Dad’s life and had promised to do her best to help Luisa not be nervous since the older woman didn’t have a lot of experience with children.  
   
   
Luisa stood and gave Danny a very quick kiss then knelt down to meet Grace.  
   
   
“Hi Grace I’m Luisa but you can call me Lu.”  
   
   
“Hi,” Grace replied shyly taking a half step behind her father’s legs but smiling none the less.  
   
   
“I really like what you’re wearing,” Luisa said admiring Grace’s jeans with dolphins and whales embroidered on them.  
   
   
“Thank you,” replied Grace politely.  
   
   
“Would you like a shave ice?” Luisa asked, starting to get nervous at the child’s shyness.  
   
   
Grace nodded.  
   
   
Danny put his hand on his daughter’s back and gently pushed her to stand beside him.  
   
   
“Do you want to go with Lu and tell her what kind of shave ice you want Monkey? I’ll stay here and you can get me my favourite.”  
   
   
The child looked up at her father nervously for a moment then nodded.  
   
   
Luisa and Grace walked over to the shave ice stand and made their orders and began chatting a bit. Something Luisa said to Grace made the little girl giggle and Danny felt his heart unclench for the first time that morning.  
   
   
The two women returned and joined Danny at the table to enjoy their treat.  
   
   
“Danno says you’re a police woman,” piped up Grace shyly.  
   
   
Luisa smiled and nodded.  
   
   
“I am. I’ve been doing the job for 10 years and I love it. Sometimes it can be a bit scary but mostly it’s fun and I really like everyone I work with and I like helping people.”  
   
   
Grace looked up at her father in adoration.  
   
   
“Danno likes helping people too. That’s why he’s a police man. He’s the best police man ever.”  
   
   
Danny blushed and shrugged slightly at his girlfriend.  
   
   
Luisa nodded at the child seriously.  
   
   
“He’s a great police officer. We’re lucky to have him on Oahu.”  
   
   
“Do you like to surf?” asked Grace.  
   
   
Luisa’s eyes lit up at the question and Danny groaned inwardly.  
   
   
“Oh totally! I love surfing. I’m pretty good too if I do say so myself.”  
   
   
Grace swallowed another bite of her shave ice before responding.  
   
   
“Kono is teaching me to surf,” she announced.  
   
   
“Kono Kalakaua?” asked Luisa excitedly. “She’s awesome. I used to watch her compete. Man she could shred.”  
   
   
Grace blushed and looked down at her shave ice.  
   
   
“She’s nice. She’s a good teacher. She never gets mad at me.”  
   
   
“That’s good. I hate it when teachers get mad its like, ‘how is you shouting at me going to help me learn?’” Luisa shook her head in disgust.  
   
   
“I know,” replied Grace leaning forward slightly. “I had this math teacher in Newark who used to shout sometimes and we were only in Grade 2!”  
   
   
“That’s so lame. If he has to yell so much he should, like, move to Switzerland and become a yodeler or something,” said Luisa sending Grace into a fit of giggles.  
   
   
“He could be like that guy on the commercials for Ricola cough drops!”  
   
   
Luisa lifted her face to the sky.  
   
   
“Riiicooolllaaahh,” she mimicked the commercial making Grace laugh again.  
   
   
The two continued their goofy conversation with Danny moving his head back and forth like he was watching a tennis match. He supposed they would remember he was there eventually.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
“So,” Danny promoted as he drove a drowsy Grace back to her mother’s place later that night. “What did you think of her?”  
   
   
“She’s nice,” replied Grace giving Danny a smile. “And pretty too. Is she your girlfriend?”  
   
   
Danny cleared his throat and nodded.  
   
   
“Yeah, she is. I really like her too and I want you to like her.”  
   
   
“I do,” replied Grace tipping her head back against the seat and looking out the passenger window.  
   
   
There was long, somewhat uncomfortable pause after that.  
   
   
“But..?”  
   
   
The little girl lifted her head and twisted around in her seat as much as the seat belt would allow.  
   
   
“She’s nice Danno and I like her. If you want to go out with her it’s ok with me it’s just…I guess I kind of thought you and Steve would be boyfriends.”  
   
   
Danny’s jaw dropped open and he looked over at his daughter in shock. Where had she come up with that? She didn’t know that he and Steve had ever been together besides having the odd barbeque or afternoon swim at Steve’s house.  
   
   
“Steve and me?” Danny asked incredulously.  
   
   
The child nodded and shrugged slightly.  
   
   
“You love him and he loves you.”  
   
   
The detective opened and closed his mouth uselessly for a moment.  
   
   
“Baby I…I do love Steve, as a friend, and he loves me that way too but nothing more than that.”  
   
   
Grace shook her head and turned back to look out the window.  
   
   
“No, he loves you a lot more than that. I’ve seen it on his face.”  
   
   
*********  
   
   
“So umm, I was thinking we should have a team barbeque at my house on Friday and you can bring Luisa,” announced Steve three days later standing in the doorway to Danny’s office and staring nervously at the floor.  
   
   
“Yeah?”  
   
   
“Yeah I mean, I guess it’s time I met her huh?” Steve looked up at his partner.  
   
   
Danny grinned happily.  
   
   
“Absolutely! Grace has already met her and Lu passed that test so I guess it’s time for the Steve stamp of approval. You’re going to love her,” Danny grinned.  
   
   
A small, sad smile twitched at the edge of Steve’s mouth.  
   
   
“I’m sure I will if you do Danny.”  
   
   
**********  
   
“Really? He wants to meet me?”  
   
   
Lu and Danny were naked and tangled up in sweaty sheets later that night.  
   
   
Danny looked over and cocked an eyebrow at her.  
   
   
“Yeah? He’s my partner and my best friend. I want you two to get along.”  
   
   
“But he’s also your ex-boyfriend.”  
   
   
Danny sighed and ran a hand over his head.  
   
   
“He and I were never boyfriends I told you that. We slept together a couple of times. It didn’t mean anything.”  
   
   
“Didn’t it?” she asked staring hard at him.  
   
   
Danny rolled on top of his girlfriend and put a hand on either side of her face.  
   
   
“I care about him. I even loved him. But he didn’t love me and I’ve moved on now. I love you ok? But he’s still my partner and my best friend and I want him to be part of our lives.”  
   
   
Lu sighed and rolled her eyes.  
   
   
“Jesus I sound like one of those pathetic girls who can’t stand the idea of her boyfriend ever having been with anyone else.” She lifted her hands and began stroking Danny’s muscled back. “I’m sorry sweetheart. Of course I want to meet Steve and of course I want to make sure he stays in our lives. He’s your best friend and you obviously love him. I’ll love him too I’m sure.”  
   
   
Danny smiled down at her then caught her mouth with his lips. Her hands stroked down his back and she cupped his ass pulling him tight against her rocking her pelvis gently and making him moan. Fuck the woman was intoxicating!  
 

**********

 

“You have a beautiful home Steve,” said Lu as she walked down the darkened beach and came to stand by Steve at the edge of the shore. The 5-0 team, with Lu as their special guest, had eaten supper hours ago and were now sitting around on the lanai laughing and telling stories. Lu had watched while Steve silently got up and walked to the water. After a moment she shared a look with Danny then followed Steve down to the water’s edge.  
   
   
Steve looked down at her and smiled.  
   
   
“Thank you. I’m glad you could join us tonight.”  
   
   
“Thanks for inviting me. I feel like this is kind of the final hurdle. First I had to win Grace over then I had to win the team over, especially you.”  
   
   
Steve shook his head in denial and turned his attention back to the water.  
   
   
“I don’t think my opinion matters that much.”  
   
   
“It matters to Danny,” Lu replied softly laying a hand on his forearm briefly before releasing it. “He loves you and respects you. Your opinion means a great deal to him.”  
   
   
Steve blinked rapidly a few times then swallowed.  
   
   
“He’s…he’s important to me too.”  
   
   
Lu licked her lips and took a deep breath.  
   
   
“Steve, I want you to know that I love Danny and I’ll do everything I can to make him happy. I know that’s going to cause you pain and I’m sorry about that but, now that I’ve found him, I can’t give him up.”  
   
   
The SEAL looked over at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  
   
   
“Why would that cause me pain? I want Danny to be happy.”  
   
   
Lu nodded and smiled sympathetically.  
   
   
“I know you do. But I also know that you love him too—.”  Lu put up her hand to stop his attempts to argue. “Danny told me about your relationship and I know he loved you and I know you love him. I can see it whenever you look at him. For whatever reason you let him go; you must have felt it was the right thing to do. I just want you to know that I will work hard to make him happy and I want you to feel a part of our lives. If Danny lost you – your friendship – he would be crushed and I don’t want to ever see that happen.”  
   
   
Steve turned to face the woman head on.  
   
   
“Danny’s not going to lose my friendship and I’m sure you and I will be friends too.” Steve looked down at the sand. “You’re right, it won’t be easy for me but I had my chance with Danny and I blew it. I took him for granted because I was afraid to be with him – to be out with a man. He deserves someone who will love him and take care of him and support him and be proud of him. If that’s you then I’m thrilled for him. I really am.”  
   
   
Steve gave Lu a pained smile then bent down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. He turned and walked back up to the house.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
“So I was thinking we should move in together.”  
   
   
Danny had his shirt pulled halfway over his head when Lu made the announcement. He pulled his shirt back down and looked at her in surprise.  
   
   
“Really? What…you want me to move in here or we get a place together?”  
   
   
The young woman sat on the bed and pulled off her jeans.  
   
   
“Well this place is big enough I think and there’s an extra room for Grace to come and stay.”  
   
   
Danny sat down on the opposite side of the bed and stared at the wall for a moment.  
   
   
Lu sighed when she saw his reaction. Her shoulders drooped.  
   
   
“It was just an idea. If you don’t want to or think it’s too early I’ll understand.”  
   
   
“No, no honey that’s not the problem.”  
   
   
Danny stood up and came around the bed to sit next to her. He put his arm around her and pulled her to rest her head on his shoulder.  
   
   
“I totally want to live with you – God I can’t imagine anything better. But I have to think about Grace too. The message I’m sending to her. I know it sounds old fashioned but, well, living together outside of marriage…that sort of thing.”  
   
   
Lu nodded and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend.  
   
   
“Yeah I can understand that. I wouldn’t want Gracie to get wrong ideas either. Why don’t we just forget I said it?”  
   
   
Danny took a deep breath.  
   
   
“There is an alternative.”  
   
   
Lu lifted her head and looked at him quizzically. He smiled down at her.  
   
   
“It would be more acceptable if…well…if we we’re engaged.”  
   
   
Lu sat up abruptly and looked hard at him, her mouth gaping open.  
   
   
“Are you..?”  
   
   
Danny shrugged his shoulders.  
   
   
“Sorry, this isn’t exactly the way I had envisioned doing this. I was thinking the beach at midnight with candles and champagne but…”  
   
   
Danny slid off the bed and knelt on the floor in front of the half-dressed woman. He took one of her hands in both of his.  
   
   
“Luisa I love you very much. I know we haven’t been going out for very long but I feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be part of Grace’s life and maybe even have our own children together someday.”  
   
   
Danny watched tears trickle down Lu’s cheek and he felt a lump grow in his throat.  
   
   
“I know I’d be the luckiest man in the world if you would marry me. Will you?”  
   
   
Luisa chewed her bottom lip for a moment then sniffed loudly. She nodded her head and began to cry in earnest.  
   
   
“Is that a yes?” Danny asked with a happy laugh.  
   
   
“Yes,” she choked. “Yes I will marry you!”  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Danny showed up at work the next day with a bag of malasadas, a box of cocoa puffs and a huge grin on his face. The team was standing around the coffee machine chatting but the look on the blond man’s face caused them all to stop what they were saying and turn to face him expectantly.  
   
   
He paused and stared at them for a moment, just smiling happily.  
   
   
“I got engaged last night.” He finally announced.  
   
   
Their reaction wasn’t exactly what he was expecting. Steve’s face fell and he dropped his eyes to the floor, Chin stood with his mouth open and Kono looked shocked and glanced over at Steve immediately. She was the first to snap out of it however, and congratulated Danny and gave him a hug.  
   
   
Chin followed immediately to wish Danny and Luisa much happiness for the future.  
   
   
Danny turned to Steve who continued staring at the floor, his face pale and drawn. Finally the SEAL put down his coffee cup with a thump and pushed past Danny and out of the 5-0 offices.  
   
   
“What the hell?” Danny snapped, offended that his best friend couldn’t be happy for him.  
   
   
Kono’s eyes were filled with tears as she watched Steve disappear down the stairs.  
   
   
“I’m sorry Danny. I guess he thought…things would work out differently.”  
   
   
The detective angrily dropped the treats he’d brought on to the table.  
   
   
“Whose fault is that Kono? He made it very clear from his behaviour that he wasn’t interested in me and certainly wasn’t interested in a future with me. I needed to move on and I did. Lu is a wonderful person and I love her and Grace loves her. I’m lucky to have her. Does he really expect me to dump her? He’s never given me any indication that he wants anything from me but sex and I need more than that!”  
   
   
Kono stepped over to the detective and wrapped her arms around him.  
   
   
“It’s ok Danny. He’ll come around. Just give him some time. Don’t be hurt and don’t let this ruin the day for you. We’re all very happy for you and excited for your wedding.”  
   
   
Danny pressed his lips together and shook his head.  
   
   
“I just…I want a family. I want a life. I would have…I would have happily had that with Steve but he didn’t want it. What was I supposed to do?”  
   
   
Chin came forward and put his hand on the blond man’s shoulder giving it a squeeze.  
   
   
“Kono’s right brah, Steve will come around. You haven’t done anything wrong. You found a wonderful woman who loves you and who you love. You’re going to be very happy together and Steve will get used to it.”  
   
   
Chin squeezed Danny’s shoulder again and gave him a big smile.  
   
   
Danny gave a shaky sigh.  
   
   
“Maybe I should go talk to him?”  
   
   
The older detective shook his head and clapped Danny on the back.  
   
   
“No, I’ll find him and talk to him.”  
   
   
He turned and walked out of the office. Danny looked back to Kono and she saw his eyes fill with tears.  
   
   
“I hate hurting him…” Danny began before his voice broke.  
   
   
Kono pulled him into her arms.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Steve was sitting slumped over a picnic table in front of Kamekona’s when Chin found him. The shrimp truck was two miles from headquarters so Chin assumed Steve ran all the way since the taller man’s truck was left in the 5-0 parking lot.  
   
   
“You hurt Danny’s feelings,” said Chin without preamble sitting down at the bench across from his boss.  
   
   
“I know. I’m sorry,” Steve’s voice was quiet.  
   
   
The older detective looked at his boss sympathetically. The young man’s eyes were red and bloodshot and he looked crushed.  
   
   
“I know how upsetting this is for you Steve but you have to try to be happy for Danny.”  
   
   
“I’m trying Chin,” Steve replied softly.  
   
   
“Running out of the room when he announces his engagement is not trying.”  
   
   
Steve raised his head to look at the older man, his eyes blazing.  
   
   
“He’s known her for what, two months? That’s not enough time to decide to get married. What they hell is he doing? Why is he rushing into this?”  
   
   
“He loves her and she loves him. They’re both cops so they understand each other. They have the same sense of humour and share similar interests,” Chin replied gently.  
   
   
Steve pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.  
   
   
“He shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have…” The SEAL shook his head and dropped his eyes again.  
   
   
Chin reached over and clasped Steve’s forearm resting on the picnic table.  
   
   
“Steve…I hate to see you hurt but Danny has moved on and you need to as well. It’s not going to happen between the two of you. You’ll have to accept it.”  
   
   
A flash of pain crossed Steve’s face and he took a shaky breath.  
   
   
“I…I love him Chin.”  
   
   
The older detective squeezed his boss’s arm again and gave him a sympathetic look.  
   
   
“I know you do brah.”  
   
   
Steve gave Chin a hopeful look.  
   
   
“Maybe if I talk to him, tell him how I feel…”  
   
   
“Steve,” Chin interrupted gently. “It’s too late.”  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Steve stood in the doorway to Danny’s office staring at the floor again.  
   
   
“I’m sorry Danny,” he murmured quietly. “I’m sorry I ruined your announcement.”  
   
   
Danny sat watching him closely, his heart aching for the other man.  
   
   
“It’s ok Steve. I shouldn’t have done it like that. I should have told you privately.”  
   
   
Steve smiled sadly.  
   
   
“No, it’s ok. You were excited as you should be…I think it’s great, I really do and I hope the two of you will be happy.”  
   
   
Danny got up from his chair and came around the desk to stand in front of his partner.  
   
   
“Thanks Steve, that means a lot to me. I want you to know that I will always be there for you and we can still hang out. If not at your place then at Luisa’s and mine.”  
   
“Thanks buddy.”  
  
   
Danny shifted his weight nervously and cleared his throat.  
   
   
“Umm Steve…I hope this isn’t the wrong time to ask but…would you be my best man?”  
   
   
A flash of pain crossed Steve’s face before he forced a smile to his face.  
   
   
“I’d be honoured man,” he responded gruffly. “I really would.”  
   
   
The two partners smiled at each other for a moment before Danny stepped forward and pulled his friend down into a hug. Steve held Danny closely for a long moment as if trying to cling to something he knew he’d lost forever.  
   
   
**********  
   
“Grace has got wedding fever,” Danny mentioned a week later while he and Steve were driving back to HQ. He had made a point of not talking too much about the wedding for fear of upsetting Steve but he felt this might be a safe enough subject.  
   
   
“She wants the entire thing in pink can you believe that?”  
   
   
Steve snorted.  
   
   
“I can see you at a pink wedding. Will you wear a pink cummerbund?”  
   
   
“No, no I don’t think so. The thing is Lu and I haven’t even discussed wedding plans, we’re not in any hurry but Grace has already picked out her dress and suggested a caterer.”  
   
   
Steve twisted his head to give Danny and incredulous look.  
   
   
“Grace knows caterers?”  
   
   
The detective waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.  
   
   
“One of her Ritchie Rich friends had her last birthday party professionally catered. Of course it was a kid’s party but she seems to think that pink and white petit fours and crustless peanut butter sandwiches would be just perfect for a wedding.”  
   
   
Steve laughed – his first laugh in days Danny was thrilled to note.  
   
   
“Actually…that does sound kind of fun.”  
   
   
Danny looked at him in horror.  
   
   
“Oh you would think so Super SEAL. You’d dig a fire pit and roast a pig at your wedding.”  
   
   
Steve’s smile dropped and his hands tightened on the wheel.  
   
   
“I don’t suppose I’ll ever marry.”  
   
  
Danny reached out and grabbed Steve’s bicep.  
   
   
“Don’t say that babe, of course you will. You’re a great guy and anyone would be lucky to have you. Someday you’ll be a husband and father and our kids will be best friends, just like we are.”  
   
   
Steve glanced over at Danny and smiled shyly before nodding his head.  
   
   
“Sounds nice. I can’t wait to teach our kids to surf.”  
   
   
“Oh no McGarrett! You’re not getting any son or daughter of mine out in the ocean with the sharks!”  
   
   
“Danno...!”  
   
   
Danny held up a hand to stop the argument when his phone buzzed in his pocket.  
   
   
“Hang on Super SEAL. I’ll yell at you after I take this call.”  
   
   
“Can’t wait,” muttered Steve dryly.  
   
   
Danny shot him a dirty look as he punched the answer button on his phone.  
   
   
“Hey Chin what’s up?”  
   
   
Through his phone Danny could hear the sound of a car engine revving and a siren in the background.  
   
   
“Danny there’s been an officer-involved shooting on Queen’s Street. A member of HPD is dead. The Governor’s asked for us to offer our help.”  
   
   
Danny felt his stomach clench at the thought of one of his brothers or sisters in blue having been killed.  
   
   
“What’s the location?”  
   
   
Danny noted the address and told Chin he and Steve would be there in three minutes.  
   
   
“Head to Queen’s Street Steve, a member of HPD has been killed and the Governor wants us to offer our help.”  
   
   
Steve spun the wheel and roared off down the highway as Danny flicked on the lights and siren.  
   
   
“That’s Lu’s beat,” said Danny shaking his head.  
   
   
“You don’t think..?” Steve asked heart in his throat.  
   
   
“No, no she’s off duty today but it’s probably one of her people. She’s going to be devastated.”  
   
   
   
**********  
   
   
The shooting scene was a small café in the middle of the street. A dozen police cars, two ambulances and a fire truck were already parked haphazardly around the area when Steve and Danny screeched to a halt nearby.  
   
   
Steve spotted Chin who gestured to him anxiously while Danny knelt down to speak to a young police officer who was sitting on a nearby curb sobbing.  
   
   
“Hey Chin what happened?” Steve asked as he jogged over to his teammate.  
   
   
Chin’s face was pale and drawn and he reached out to put a hand on Steve’s forearm.  
   
   
“Steve,” he gasped. “It’s Luisa.”  
   
   
The SEAL felt his heart skip a beat in his chest.  
   
   
“What…what are you talking about?”  
   
   
“The officer who was killed, it’s Luisa.”  
   
   
Steve shook his head slowly trying to get his mind to wrap around the other man’s words.  
   
   
“No it can’t be. Danny says she’s off today.”  
   
   
“She was called in. They’re short-staffed.”  
   
   
“Oh my god,” Steve moaned rubbing his hands over his face and swallowing convulsively. He turned to see where his partner was and felt a clutch of horror as he saw the smaller man walking into the crime scene.  
   
   
Steve ran after his friend determined to stop him from seeing his dead fiancé.  
   
   
A group of police officers exited the building just as Steve tried to enter and he had to push through them to get into the building.  
   
   
He looked desperately around for his partner and felt his heart leap to his throat when he heard a ragged cry of grief.  
   
   
Steve ran to the back of the café and saw Danny being physically restrained by two uniformed police officers who struggled to hold onto the grief-stricken man as he screamed no, no, no over and over again. Luisa was laying on her back on the kitchen floor, her dead eyes frozen wide with shock and a hideous, gaping shotgun wound in her chest. Blood pooled around her body and the engagement ring on her left hand sparkled in the fluorescent light of the kitchen.  
   
   
Steve dragged his eyes away from the scene of horror and grabbed Danny around the waist, lifting him off his feet and carrying him a few steps away. Danny kicked and punched trying to get out of Steve’s arms.  
   
   
“Let me go Steve. I have to go to her. I have to help her.”  
   
   
Steve grappled with the smaller man struggling to get him further away from the scene. Danny elbowed Steve in the side causing the SEAL to loosen his grip for a moment and the detective took the opportunity to break away. Danny ran back to Luisa but the two uniformed officers grabbed him again. He took a swing at one but the officer was able to dodge the hit. Steve grabbed Danny from behind again and locked his arms around the smaller man’s chest, pinning the detective’s arms to his side before pulling him back away from the scene.  
   
   
“Danny!” Steve yelled desperately. “Danny stop!  It’s too late buddy she’s gone. You can’t help her.”  
   
   
“I can’t…”Danny began sobbing but still continued to wrestle with Steve. “I can’t leave her alone. I have to look after her. I have to cover her up before she gets cold.”  
   
   
The SEAL pushed Danny into a corner of the restaurant pining him to the wall and wrapped his arms around his partner holding him tightly.  
   
   
“They’ll take care of her Danny,” he whispered in his friend’s ear. “They’ll cover her up and make sure she doesn’t get cold. They’ll look after her.”  
   
   
Danny struggled for a few more seconds then went limp in Steve’s arms and began to wail with grief. Steve shivered at the sound and clutched his friend tighter feeling tears spilling from his own eyes.  
   
   
Kono came in, red-faced and crying with a paramedic in tow.  
   
   
Steve looked over his shoulder at the man.  
   
   
“Give him something will you?”  
   
   
The paramedic nodded and pulled out a syringe filing it with what Steve assumed was a sedative. The medic rolled up Danny’s sleeve and plunged the needle into the detective’s arm. Danny was oblivious to what was happening as he sobbed on Steve’s shoulder and wailed Luisa’s name over and over until the sedative took effect.

 

**********  
 

Danny awoke with a smile. It was cool in the room with the air conditioning running but the blanket over him was keeping him toasty warm.  
   
   
The detective stretched and rolled on his side patting the other side of the bed looking for a warm, delicious body to plaster against. It was empty. He sat up and looked around the room in confusion. This wasn’t Lu’s bedroom it was Steve’s. Why was he in..? Danny felt the blood drain from his face and he began to shudder as his heart pounded in his chest. It had been a dream hadn’t it? Lu wasn’t dead. It was a dream – a nightmare. Danny felt grief swamp him like a tidal wave and he cried out with the pain of it.  
   
   
He heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and the door to the room flew open and suddenly he was enveloped in Steve’s arms.  
   
   
“Noooo!” Danny moaned slumping against his partner who was rocking him back and forth murmuring in his ear as Danny sobbed.  
   
   
“I’m here Danny, it’s ok buddy. You’re not alone. I’m here.”  
   
   
“No, no it’s not true. Tell me it’s not true! Tell me she’s not gone.”  
   
   
“Shhhh, Danny. Hang on babe. Just hang on ok? You’re not alone.”  
   
   
**********  
   
Kono opened the door and let Gracie enter Steve’s house ahead of her. Kono’s heart bled for the child who was pale and shaking, her face streaked with tears.  
   
   
Grace put down her backpack and shivered slightly looking up at Kono with wide eyes.  
   
   
“What should I do now Auntie Kono?”  
   
   
The young woman opened her mouth to answer when Steve came softly down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom when he saw the little girl.  
   
   
Grace turned and looked at him and his grief-stricken face and immediately burst into tears. In two long steps he was in front of her, sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her outside onto the lanai.  
   
   
Steve sat down in a deck chair and put the child on his lap holding her close until she stopped crying. She sniffed rubbing her hands across her face. Steve handed her a tissue and she blew her nose.  
   
   
The small child looked up at her uncle with swollen, red eyes.  
   
   
“Why, Uncle Steve? Why would someone kill Lu? She was nice.”  
   
   
Steve swallowed hard and took a deep breath. He rested a cheek on the top of her head.  
   
   
“I don’t know baby. It’s not right. She came to help someone who was being robbed and a bad guy shot her. She didn’t suffer at all though. There was no pain.”  
   
   
Grace shuddered and snuggled closer to her uncle.  
   
   
“I’m scared Uncle Steve,” she whispered, her voice small and strained.  
   
   
“What are you scared of Gracie?”  
   
   
Grace turned her face up to look at her uncle.  
   
   
“Daddy’s going to be so sad and he’s going to cry and I don’t know how to make him feel better.”  
   
   
Steve put his hand on the side of the little girl’s head and gave a small smile.  
   
   
“Sweetie, all you have to do is be there for Danno. He doesn’t expect you to fix him or say anything that will make it better – except that you love him. Just having you with him will make him stronger.”  
   
   
Steve sighed and rubbed the little girl’s shoulder.  
   
   
“It’s going to take Danno a long time to recover from this loss and he’s going to need lots of hugs and kisses from you.”  
   
   
“Are you and Chin and Kono going to hug him a lot too Uncle Steve?”  
   
   
Steve’s eyes prickled with tears and he took a shaky breath.  
   
   
“We’ll hug him a lot and we’ll do everything we can to help our Danno.”  
   
   
Grace nodded and pulled herself out of Steve’s arms and got to her feet in front of him.  
   
   
“OK. I’m ready to go and be with Danno now.”  
   
   
Steve smiled at the courageous child and stood up as well, taking her hand and leading her into the house and up the stairs. Steve opened the door and Danny rolled over to face the door.  
   
   
“Monkey,” Danny choked out, opening his arms wide for his little girl.  
   
   
Grace ran to him, climbed up on the bed and crawled into the arms of her now sobbing father.  
   
   
“It’s ok Danno,” she whispered, “I’ll take care of you.”  
   
   
Steve step back into the hall and pulled the door shut. He slumped against it and began crying quietly.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Danny sat on the lanai with Steve, Kono and Chin. He had a plate of rapidly cooling food balanced on his lap but he couldn’t eat. The four friends sat quietly, each lost in his or her thoughts.  
   
   
Steve finally cleared his throat and put a hand on Danny’s knee rousing him from his reverie and causing him to jump slightly.  
   
   
“Danno, what about Luisa’s parents, do you want to go and see them?”  
   
   
The smaller man shook his head and dropped his eyes to his plate of food.  
   
   
“No. Lu’s dad died a couple of years ago and her mom has early onset Alzheimer’s. She’s in a home and is pretty much unaware of what’s happening. We went to visit her a few weeks ago but she didn’t recognize…” Danny’s voice broke and he cleared it before continuing. “She didn’t recognize her daughter.”  
   
   
Steve squeezed his partner’s knee and nodded.  
   
   
The four fell into silence again before Kono spoke up.  
   
   
“Danny, would you rather have a protein shake or something instead of that chicken? It might be easier for you to handle.”  
   
   
The detective sat staring at the water for a few seconds before he realized Kono had spoken.  
   
   
“Hmmm? Oh, ah, no, thanks Kono.” He put his plate on a nearby table and stood up. “I’m just gonna go sit near the water ok?”  
   
   
His team watched him walk down the steps then out to the beach. Danny was a small man but his personality always made him seem larger than life. Now he just looked frail and tiny, as if one strong wind would carry him away.  
   
   
Kono looked over at Steve with tears pooling in her eyes.  
   
   
“I wish we could help him. I wish we could fix this.”  
   
   
The SEAL nodded and put out his hand to clasp Kono’s in his.  
   
   
“I know sweetie. I wish we could too but all we can do is be here when he needs us.”  
   
   
“Has he talked to his parents?” asked Chin quietly, never taking his eyes off his traumatized friend.  
   
   
“Yeah I called them a few hours ago and they talked to Danny. His father just had surgery so they can’t leave for a while. They’ll be here as soon as they can manage it.”  
   
   
Chin shook his head slowly.  
   
   
“How much more loss is he expected to take?” he whispered, his eyes brimming with tears.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Steve hurtled out of bed just after 2 a.m. at the sound of Danny yelling Luisa’s name. He ran to his bedroom, where he’d insisted Danny sleep, and switched on the bedside lamp finding his partner thrashing on the bed, trapped in a nightmare, tears streaming from his eyes.  
   
   
Steve sat down beside the smaller man and shook his shoulders.  
   
   
“Danny! Danny, wake up!”  
   
   
The detective’s eyes popped open and stared wild-eyed at Steve, clutching at his arm in terror. He seemed to deflate back onto the mattress when he realized he had been dreaming. Danny buried his face in the crook of his elbow and shook his head.  
   
   
“I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m s-sorry.”  
   
   
Steve squeezed his friend’s shoulders.  
   
   
“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. You had a bad dream.”  
   
   
“I’m sorry to put all this on you,” Danny said, his breath ragged. “I should just…maybe I’d be better off at home.”  
   
   
Steve grabbed Danny’s arm and pulled it away from his wet face.  
   
   
“Don’t say that Danny. You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying here so I can look after you. You aren’t going to go through this alone.”  
   
   
“Steve…I don’t know if I can…” Danny whispered and began crying softly.  
   
   
The SEAL pulled his partner up to a sitting position and wrapped his arms around the smaller man again.  
   
   
“It’s ok babe,” he murmured. “Let’s just try to get through one hour at a time ok? Do you want me to stay in here with you?”  
   
   
Danny nodded and Steve released him so he could slide over on the bed. Steve switched out the light and pulled back the covers climbing in beside his partner. Danny rolled over until he was resting on his side, pressed against Steve, his head on the other man’s chest. Steve wrapped his arms around his best friend and began rubbing small circles in the smaller man’s back.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Danny stood at Luisa’s grave with Grace beside him on his left and Steve on his right. Chin and Kono had his back and he felt the strength of their love and friendship as he listened to the police chaplain read from the bible over his fiancé’s casket.   
   
   
Danny felt Grace flinch when the rifle salute was fired and she began to weep softly. He picked her up and held her in his arms where she cried into his dress uniform.  
   
   
As the funeral ended, Danny stood for some time accepting the comments and condolences of dozens of police officers and friends of Luisa’s.  
   
   
Luisa’s best friend Ahulani came up to him and held him in a firm hug, crying on his shoulder for a moment. When she stepped back she gave him a watery smile.  
   
   
“She really loved you Danny and she was so excited to be marrying you. You made her very happy and I want to thank you for that.”  
   
   
Danny let out a shuddering breath and nodded giving the woman a weak smile.  
   
   
“She made me happy too.”  
   
   
As the crowd began to thin, Danny felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder.  
   
   
“Come on Danno, you look beat. Let’s go back to my place, just the five of us. We’ll have a few beers and try to relax.”  
   
   
Danny nodded and took Grace’s hand and Steve led them to the Camaro. As they drove towards Steve’s, Danny turned in his seat to look at his daughter sitting quietly in the back seat.  
   
   
“You were very brave today sweetie,” he said hoarsely. “I was so proud of you.”  
   
   
Grace gave him a sad smile.  
   
   
“Thank you Daddy. I think you were brave too.”  
   
   
Danny smiled back.  
   
   
“Maybe Uncle Steve can take you swimming later, would you like that?”  
   
   
Grace’s eyes lit up for an instant before she pulled her lips between her teeth and shook her head.  
   
   
“I don’t think I should.”  
   
   
Danny glanced at Steve and they shared a puzzled look. He turned back to Grace.  
   
   
“Why shouldn’t you baby?” Danny asked softly.  
   
   
“Well,” the little girl fidgeted with one of the pockets of the dark blue dress she was wearing.  
  
   
“Swimming with Uncle Steve is fun and I don’t think I should have fun when you’re sad and Lu is…not here anymore.”  
   
   
Danny stared at his daughter for a moment feeling his heart clench in pain. He turned to Steve.  
   
   
“Babe could you pull the car over for a moment?” he requested softly.  
   
   
Steve nodded and steered the car into a nearby shopping mall parking lot. Danny climbed out of the passenger seat and opened the back door of the car to climb in next to his daughter. He took one of her little hands in his own.  
   
   
“Baby, listen to me. You’re a little girl and you deserve to have happiness and fun in your life. Lu would never want you to stop having fun or be unhappy because of her and I don’t want that either. Seeing you laughing and enjoying yourself is one of the joys of my life and it makes me feel stronger – like I know there’s still a lot of good in the world do you understand what I mean?”  
   
   
The child nodded and one tear rolled down her cheek. Danny wiped it away with his thumb.  
   
   
“It’s ok to laugh, it’s ok to be happy, it’s ok to have fun. I’m still very sad and I will be for a long time but I would be sadder if I could never hear you laugh or see you smile. So, if Uncle Steve will take you will you go swimming?”  
   
   
Grace gave her Dad a small smile and nodded.  
   
   
Danny looked over the seat to his partner who was still facing forward but was wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. Danny was touched by the tough guy’s emotional reaction.  
   
   
“Babe, is it ok with you to take her swimming?”  
   
   
Steve cleared his throat but didn’t turn around.  
   
   
“Um yeah,” Steve replied, his voice rough. “I’d love to go swimming with Gracie.”  
   
   
Danny reached forward and squeezed Steve’s shoulder. The SEAL put a hand over top of his partner’s giving it a quick squeeze before letting go. He started the engine and drove out of the parking lot.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
The next morning, Steve came in from his swim to find Danny sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal and wearing his work clothes. The SEAL stopped in his tracks when he saw his partner.  
   
   
“What are you doing Danny?”  
   
   
The detective looked up and cocked an eyebrow.  
   
   
“I’m eating my breakfast Steven,” he responded dryly.  
   
   
“No I mean why are you wearing your work clothes?”  
   
   
Danny dropped his eyes back to his cereal.  
   
   
“I’m going in to work today.”  
   
   
Steve sighed and pulled out a chair to sit down across from his partner.  
   
   
“No you’re not Danny; you’re still on bereavement leave.”  
   
   
The detective dropped his spoon into the bowl of cereal with a clatter and looked up at his partner with blazing eyes.  
   
   
“Steven, I can’t sit around this house any longer! I’ve wallowed in my misery long enough. I need to go to work and…” he took a ragged breath, “get on with my life.”  
   
   
“Danny it’s only been a few days…”  
   
   
“Steve please! Let me come to work. If I sit around here all I will think about is her and finding her…dead and…” Danny shook his head and swallowed convulsively. “It’s driving me insane. I’ll just stay in the office doing paperwork if you want but I can’t sit here anymore.”  
   
   
Danny’s wet, pleading eyes broke Steve’s heart and he nodded reluctantly.  
   
   
“Alright. You’ll stay in the office until I’m sure you’re strong enough to go out onto the streets ok? That’s the deal.”  
   
   
“Yeah, ok. Thanks Steve.”  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Danny spent the day working on his own paperwork as well as taking on some of the work assigned to the other members of the team. He rarely left his desk longer than it took to get a cup of coffee or go to the bathroom and the team almost had to drag him out at lunch to sit outside and get some air while he ate his sandwich – or part of his sandwich. It hadn’t escaped anyone’s notice that he wasn’t eating properly and had started to lose weight.  
   
   
His three teammates tried to engage him in light conversation but he only nodded his head or smiled distractedly when they spoke to him.  
   
   
Steve, Chin and Kono were standing in front of the computer table later in the day while Danny worked at a furious pace on the computer in his office.  
   
   
“How’s he doing Steve?” Chin asked glancing over his shoulder at Danny.  
   
   
The Commander sighed and leaned on the table wearily.  
   
   
“He’s hanging on but he’s struggling. As you’ve seen he’s barely eating and he’s waking up with a lot of nightmares. He doesn’t seem to want to talk about Lu at all. It’s like he’s trying to keep moving or keep his mind occupied so he doesn’t have to think about what’s happened.”  
   
   
“Poor man,” whispered Kono sympathetically. “It seemed like everything was starting to come together for him here and now it’s all been destroyed again.”  
   
   
“He still has us and Gracie,” Steve replied with a bit more force than he intended.  
   
   
“I know but it’s not the same is it? He loved Lu. He was planning his life with her.”  
   
   
Steve nodded and dropped his eyes.  
   
   
“Yeah, I know.”  
   
   
Kono turned to look at her boss with sympathetic eyes.  
   
   
“He’s going to lean on you a lot Steve, he already has. I think…well…I think it would be easy for him to fall back into a relationship with you.”  
   
   
Steve shifted from one foot to the other and rubbed his finger over an imagined smudge on the computer table.  
   
   
“Would that be so bad?” he muttered quietly.  
   
   
Kono put her hands on her hips and stared at him intently until he looked up and met her eyes.  
   
   
“Yes, it would. If the two of you get back together someday – and I hope you do – you have to be sure it’s because you’re both strong and you both have your eyes open and you’re together because you love each other and you want to spend your lives together, not because you’re each other’s crutch.”  
   
   
Steve swallowed hard and nodded.  
   
   
“I know, Kono. I won’t push him into anything and I certainly would never take advantage of him. But I can’t help wanting to take care of him and help him get better.”  
   
   
“We want that too and there is no one better to help him than you, Steve. But just… be careful, for your sake as well as his.”  
   
   
   
**********  
   
Two nights later Danny came downstairs holding a duffle bag in his hands. Steve looked up from where he was reading on the couch and noticed what his partner was carrying.  
   
   
“What’s going on?”  
   
   
Danny chewed his bottom lip for a moment.  
   
   
“I think it’s time I went home babe.”  
   
   
Throwing the book on the coffee table, Steve got up to stand in front of his partner.  
   
   
“No, Danny. It’s too soon. You’re still too raw and you still have nightmares.”  
   
   
The detective gave his partner a fond smile.  
   
   
“Steve I’m grateful to you for being here for me the past week but I have to get on with my life sometime. I’m not trying to pretend I’m better or that I’m not still in pain, but at some point I have to try to get my life back on track.”  
   
   
“But…Danny I need to look after you and…I like having you here,” Steve’s voice dropped away at the last statement.  
   
   
The detective reached out and cupped the side of his partner’s face with one hand.  
   
   
“And I like being here. That may be part of the problem.”  
   
   
A flash of hurt travelled across Steve’s face.  
   
   
“What do you mean?”  
   
   
Sighing heavily, Danny put his duffle bag on the floor and took a step closer to Steve.  
   
   
“Babe…I loved you for a long time before I met Lu. Hell I still love you. That’s the problem. I feel like if I stay here…I’ll never want to leave. You make it all so easy and you take care of everything and I feel like I’m going to become too dependent on you. I need time to heal and I need to get back on my feet. I can’t let myself lean on you too much or I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stand on my own again. Do you see what I mean?”  
   
   
Steve shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looked at a spot just to the right of Danny’s shoulder.  
   
   
“I guess,” he replied quietly. He looked over and met his best friend’s eyes again. “You have to do what you think is right Danno but please don’t forget I’m here if you need me, anytime, day or night. You don’t have to be a stoic tough guy ok?”  
   
   
Danny stood on his tip toes and kissed Steve on the cheek then gave him a warm smile. He bent down and picked up his duffle and walked out the door without looking back. Steve trailed along behind him watching his partner climb in his Camaro and drive away.  
   
   
**********  
   
   
Danny picked up the phone on the second ring.  
   
   
“Detective Williams.”  
   
   
“Danny, its Lieutenant Westfall.”  
   
   
Danny felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. Westfall was Lu’s boss.  
   
   
“Oh, um...yeah, hi Lieutenant.”  
   
   
“Danny I just wanted you to know we got the guy who killed Lu. We tracked him down in a crack house this morning. The piece of shit won’t be killing any more cops.”  
   
   
The detective felt his gut clench in sudden rage.  
   
   
“Where is he?” Danny asked angrily, his right hand clenching into a tight fist. “I want to see him.”  
   
   
The Lieutenant snorted.  
   
   
“You’ll have to go to the morgue then, he’s dead. He um, resisted arrest.”  
   
   
The detective shivered as a sudden chill ran up his spine. The cops had obviously executed the man. Danny swallowed heavily. Part of him was glad the scum bag was dead but another part knew Lu would be disgusted at cops acting like judge, jury and executioner.  
   
   
There was a long pause until Danny heard the Lieutenant clear his throat on the other end of the phone. Danny shook his head. He’d been lost in thought as usual.  
   
   
“I-I’m sorry Lieutenant. Umm, thanks for letting me know. I appreciate it.”  
   
   
Danny hung up the phone and dropped his face into his hands.

 

**********

“Have either of you heard from or seen Danny?” Steve’s struggled to contain the worry in his voice when he walked out of his office. It was 9:15 in the morning and his partner still hadn’t shown up for work.

 

Kono and Chin both shook their heads.

 

“Maybe he’s taking Grace to school?” Kono suggested.

 

Steve ran a hand down his face.

 

“Maybe, but why wouldn’t he call to say he’s going to be late?”

 

“I’m sure he’s fine Steve,” Chin said. “It’s only been a month since Lu died and he’s still not sleeping that well judging from how he looks. Maybe he slept in a bit.”

Steve nodded distractedly and consulted his watch again.

 

“I’m just going to take a run over to his apartment and make sure everything’s ok. Call me if you hear from him alright?”

 

The two cousins nodded and smiled at each other. They were always surprised what a mother hen Steve could be, especially when it came to Danny.

 

**********

 

Steve knocked on the door several times but there was no response from inside. The Camaro was in the parking lot and the curtains were closed in Danny’s apartment. Finally the SEAL pulled out his key and opened the door. Danny’s apartment was a disaster – clothes scattered everywhere, dishes piled in the sink, holes punched in the wall and, most disturbingly, empty beer bottles lying all over the floor and dotted across the furniture.

 

Steve felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the mess. Goddamn it he knew he shouldn’t have let Danny leave his place. Steve began looking around the small apartment trying to find his friend. He finally spotted the smaller man sitting on the floor in the kitchen leaning up against the lower cupboards his head slumped on his chest, fast asleep.

 

Steve knelt down in front of his partner and shook his shoulder lightly.

 

“Danny? Hey Danny wake up.”

 

Danny groaned and opened his bloodshot eyes.

 

“Steve? What are you doing here?”

 

The Commander shook his head in disgust.

 

“It’s Monday, Danno. You’re late for work. I was worried when you didn’t show up. How much have you had to drink anyway?”

 

“Nothing,” muttered Danny pushing Steve’s hand away and climbing to his feet.

 

The SEAL gestured around the room at all the empty bottles.

 

“Doesn’t look like nothing partner.”

 

“I finished the last of the beer yesterday afternoon. I haven’t had anything more since then.”

 

Given Danny’s ability to walk straight and his seeming lack of a hangover, Steve believed him.

 

“Then why didn’t you come to work?” Steve asked frustration building.

 

The smaller man shrugged and walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch.

 

“I don’t know. Didn’t feel like it.”

 

Steve sighed in annoyance and came over to sit beside his partner.

 

“What do you mean you didn’t feel like it? Are you sick?”

 

Danny shook his head and stared resolutely at the carpeting.

 

“Danny? What’s going on?”

 

The detective shrugged again.

 

“Nothing. I told you, I just didn’t feel like coming to work.”

 

“And you didn’t bother calling?”

 

Danny shifted in annoyance and turned his face away from Steve’s.

 

“I forgot ok? Look, just leave it alone. I’ll be in tomorrow.”

 

Steve stared at his friend for a moment as if trying to decipher what was wrong by his facial expressions. This was so unlike dependable, professional Danny. He reached out and put a hand on Danny’s shoulder.

 

“Danny, I told you, you don’t have to go through this alone. You don’t have to be a tough guy. If something’s bothering you just tell me about it.”

 

“People get sick of listening to me talk about Lu.”

 

“Who does? Who gets sick of it? Who told you that?”

 

Danny glanced over at Steve then looked away.

 

“No one said it in so many words but…why would anyone want to talk about it anymore?”

 

“Umm gee, let me think, because you’re our friend and we care about you and we are always happy to provide a shoulder to lean on?”

 

Danny pursed his lips together and began picking at a loose thread on his sweatpants. He was silent for several moments. Steve had learned to wait patiently in these circumstances.

 

Finally the detective looked up, eyes filled with pain.

 

“Steve?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you think I’m destined to never be happy?”

 

“What?”

 

“Am I doomed to being alone the rest of my life? I mean I had Rachel and I lost her. I had you and I lost you. I had Luisa and I lost her. Do you think I’m cursed?”

 

Steve ran his hands through his hair as he gathered his thoughts. He dropped them away and slid over close to Danny putting an arm around the smaller man’s shoulders.

 

“Danny, first of all, there’s no curse on you. Do you really think God or Mother Nature or whatever would take Lu’s life just to punish you? That would be pretty sick. You’ve just had…a lot of tragedy. Some people do, I don’t know why. And secondly, you didn’t lose me, I pushed you away.”

 

The detective looked up at his partner in surprise.

 

“I pushed you away because I was too afraid to love you,” continued Steve gently. “I was too afraid to be with you and I was too afraid of my feelings for you. I wanted to keep you dangling on a string while I worked through my issues instead of just talking to you. You were smart though; you went out and found someone else to love. I’m just sorry it ended so terribly. You can’t give up though babe. You have to keep going forward and you have to keep believing things will get better.”

 

Danny shrugged slightly and sighed.

 

“Some days I feel like I’m doing ok and others I feel like I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning.”

 

Steve pulled Danny tight against him.

 

“And today was one of those days?”

 

Danny bit his bottom lip and nodded.

 

“Then that’s when you need to call me.”

 

The smaller man shook his head and rubbed his face with both hands.

 

“I just...I don’t want to be a burden.”

 

“Danny. You’re not a burden. You’re my best friend and I lo-I care about you. It’s only been a few weeks since Lu died. Please don’t try to go through this by yourself. You don’t need to you know.”

 

Danny looked up and gave Steve a small smile before nodding and resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.

 

*********

 

6 months later.

 

Danny turned the beer bottle around and around on the coaster watching the amber liquid catch the light. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Kono.

 

“Hey kid,” he grinned happily. “Thanks for meeting me.”

 

The young woman sat down and Danny gestured for the bartender to bring her a beer.

 

“It’s no problem, Danny,” Kono smiled at him and took a sip from her beer. “I just don’t understand why we couldn’t talk at work.”

 

Danny shrugged and turned his attention back to his drink.

 

“It’s just…I wanted to talk to you about something kind of private and I didn’t want to do it with Steve and Chin around.”

 

Kono frowned in concern.

 

“And this is something you couldn’t discuss with Steve?”

 

Danny shook his head then looked back at his friend shyly.

 

“It’s about Steve,” he responded quietly.

 

“Oh.”

 

The two sat quietly for a moment as Danny gathered his thoughts. Like Steve, Kono had learned that Danny would speak when he was ready.

 

Finally the blond man turned his head to look at her.

 

“It’s just…all of you have been so incredible over the last seven months since Lu died, you’ve all been wonderful but…especially Steve.”

 

Kono nodded her agreement. Steve had been amazing with Danny: sitting up all night with him at times, dragging him out of his apartment when he became too morose, having Danny and Grace over to his house regularly, and especially letting Danny talk about Lu as much as he needed to.

 

Danny sighed and took a sip of beer before he continued.

 

“The thing is…I’m sort of…I think I’m starting to…feel things for Steve again.”

 

The young woman nodded to him gravely.

 

“OK?”

 

He lowered his head and ran his fingers up and down through the condensation on his glass.

 

“It’s just that…it’s only been seven months and I feel like I have no right to have these feelings again, it’s too soon don’t you think? I mean I loved Lu so much and I was ready to spend my life with her and now I’m in love with Steve? Doesn’t that seem kind of…I don’t know, heartless?”

 

“Danny,” Kono murmured softly putting her arm around his shoulder. “You were in love with Steve before you met Lu and I think a part of you still loved him after. That doesn’t mean you didn’t love Lu or that you wouldn’t have been perfectly happy with her.”

 

Danny looked at her with hopeful eyes while she continued.

 

“You have a right to be happy Danny and if Steve can give you that then you should go for it. Lu would want you to find someone you love. She knew how you felt about Steve.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

She smiled fondly at the detective.

 

“Yeah. If Steve is who you want, if you’re sure you love him because of who he is, not because you’re lonely or scared of being alone, if you think you’re ready to take that step again I say you should.”

 

Danny stared intently at his beer bottle for a moment.

 

“Do you…think Steve would be..?”

 

Kono laughed out loud and that made Danny smile.

 

“I know he would. He loves you Danny and he’s been hoping that someday, when you’re ready, you’d come back to him. I think he’s just been waiting for you to make the first move.”

 

Danny smiled in relief and leaned over and kissed his friend on the cheek.

 

“Thanks kid. For someone so young you’re pretty wise you know that?”

 

“It’s true,” Kono responded grinning brightly, pulling her arm from around his shoulders. “You’re lucky to have me.”

 

Danny rolled his eyes and bumped her with his shoulder.

 

“Do you and your massive ego want another beer?”

 

**********

 

Danny Williams wasn’t the kind of guy to pause or equivocate once he’d made up his mind about something – even if he was nervous as hell. The next morning when he arrived at work, he walked directly into Steve’s office and closed the door behind him.

 

Steve looked up and smiled at his partner.

 

“Morning, Danny.”

 

“Morning. Can I talk to you for a second? It’s kind of important.”

 

Steve stilled for a moment at that. What was this about? Was he in trouble? He nodded.

 

The detective sat down in one of the chairs in front of Steve’s desk and held his clasped hands tightly between his knees. He stared at the floor for a moment seemingly gathering his thoughts and Steve felt a knot of worry growing in his gut.

 

Finally the Jersey native looked up at his partner.

 

“Steve, first of all I want to thank you for being there for me since Lu died. I don’t know if I could have survived without you – Grace and Chin and Kono too, but mostly you.”

 

Steve blushed and shrugged his shoulders slightly.

 

“It’s fine Danny I mean, it’s nothing you wouldn’t have done for me.”

 

Danny nodded and licked his lips before speaking again.

 

“Steve umm…I need you to know I’ve thought long and hard about this and I know what I’m doing. I want you to understand that.”

 

Steve swallowed roughly and felt himself tense. Was his worst fear being realized? Was Danny going to tell him he was going back to HPD or worse, moving back to New Jersey?

 

“Okay…what is it Danny?” Steve’s voice sounded strained in his own ears.

 

Danny shifted in his seat and dropped his eyes to the floor.

 

“The thing is Steve…I love you.”

 

Danny slowly raised his eyes and saw Steve looking pale and…scared?

 

“You?” Steve worked to slow his breathing. “You love me?”

 

Danny nodded firmly and looked down at the floor again.

 

“Yes. I know you probably think it’s too soon and I’m acting out of loneliness but I’m not. I still love and miss Lu and I know I always will but I’ve come to realize over the last couple of months that I’m in love with you and…I’ll understand if you don’t share my feelings but I wanted you to know.”

 

The blond man slowly raised his eyes and was surprised to see Steve had dropped his face into his hands.

 

“Steve?” Danny asked worriedly.

 

Steve shook his head and pulled his hands away from his face. His eyes were wet but he was smiling.

 

“Jesus.” Steve whispered brokenly. “I thought I’d lost you forever after I acted like such an asshole and pushed you away. And Lu was so wonderful and perfect for you, I didn’t think you could ever possibly love me again and I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t.”

 

“Does that mean…you maybe feel the same way,” asked Danny tentatively.

 

Steve stood up and walked around his desk grabbing Danny by the biceps and pulling him to his feet.

 

“Danno I never stopped feeling that way. I never stopped.”

 

Danny grinned happily and put his hand on Steve’s neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Steve moaned in need and wrapped his arms tightly around his partner trying to pour into the kiss every emotion he’d kept hidden for so many months.

 

Finally the two separated long enough to breathe.

 

“C’mon,” whispered Steve, his voice husky with need. “We’re going to my place.”

 

Danny smiled and rubbed Steve’s cheekbone with the thumb of his right hand.

 

“We just got here. It’s only eight in the morning.”

 

Steve had a look of mock horror on his face.

 

“It’s that late? Time’s a wastin’. We’ve got to go.”

 

Kono and Chin jumped when Steve’s office door flew open and the SEAL strode out pulling Danny behind him like a man on a mission.

 

“We’re ahh…going for an early lunch,” announced Steve tightening his hold on a now grinning Danny’s hand and pulling him out of the office.

 

“Uh huh,” replied Chin dryly.

 

“Don’t eat too much,” chimed Kono snickering into her hand.

 

**********

 

“St-Steve… jesus.” Danny gasped as his partner’s thrusts hit his prostate over and over again causing sparks to shoot up and down Danny’s spine.

 

Steve stopped for a moment looking down at his lover in concern.

 

“Are you okay? I’m not hurting you am I?”

 

Danny smiled and looked up at his partner fondly, his breath still coming in pants.

 

“No babe, you could never hurt me I just…it’s been so long, I don’t think I’m going to last.”

 

Steve shifted so he was leaning on his elbows on either side of Danny’s shoulders. His face was inches from his lover’s as he gazed into the pale blue eyes. He was content to stay here, unmoving, forever if necessary. Just stay buried inside Danny and watching him; seeing the love in the other man’s eyes that he thought he’d lost forever.

 

Danny stared up at him content to just lay under Steve, to feel him inside, to feel his hot, sweaty skin pressing down on him. But soon the sparks grew again and Danny needed Steve to move – needed him to bury himself as deep as possible, to remind Danny he was still alive.

 

Danny slid his hands down Steve’s muscled back and clutched his firm ass, pulling the taller man tight against him.

 

“Please Steve…” he whispered brokenly. “Please…”

 

Steve smiled and dropped his head to catch Danny’s mouth with his again while he slowly resumed his thrusting. As he felt his own orgasm pooling around his spine and sending currents of pleasure through his groin, he upped his tempo harder and faster. Danny moaned and cried out when Steve slipped his hand between their bodies wrapped his long fingers around Danny’s cock and began pumping his lover with firm, sure strokes. Danny wrapped his legs around Steve’s back and arched up feeling his orgasm approaching like a gathering storm. Finally he cried out again and again as he climaxed, feeling his hot come pulsing between their bodies. Steve released Danny’s now spent cock and slid his hand down his lover’s hip to grab Danny’s thigh and pull it up towards his chest. His thrusts increased in tempo and, as he felt himself about to explode, he pushed as deeply into Danny as possible. Steve lifted his head and cried out into the room as he shuddered and bucked with his own release.

 

The SEAL collapsed on top of Danny and took deep, gasping breaths as his heart rate returned to normal. Danny carded his fingers through his lover’s hair and gave a sleepy sigh of satisfaction.

 

Steve finally regained enough strength to pull out of Danny and remove and discard the condom before using a corner of the sheet to wipe their sticky bellies. He manhandled his partner until the smaller man was lying on his side, his back tight against Steve’s chest and Steve’s arm wrapped snuggly around his waist.

 

“Fuck, Danny,” Steve whispered hoarsely and pressed his face into the back of Danny’s neck, sighing in contentment.

 

Danny snorted and grabbed the hand wrapped around his stomach and tangled his fingers together with Steve’s.

 

“Well put babe.”

 

**********

 

Steve woke up a half hour later to see Danny standing naked in front of the window gazing out at the ocean. The morning light made Danny look bright and golden and Steve was content to just look at him for a few moments.

 

Finally the SEAL climbed quietly out of bed and walked over to his lover wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s waist and bending down to rest his chin on Danny’s shoulder. The blond man smiled and leaned back against his partner clasping Steve’s forearms with his hands.

 

“Not having second thoughts are you,” asked Steve trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

 

“No Steve, no,” Danny answered, keen to dispel his partner’s fears. “I would never have second thoughts about you. I was just thinking.”

 

“About Lu?”

 

Danny froze for a moment then nodded.

 

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

 

Steve wrapped his arms a bit tighter around his boyfriend.

 

“You don’t have to be. She was a wonderful person and she will always be a part of you. I know that and I don’t mind.”

 

Danny twisted around in Steve’s arms until he was looking up at his lover, his hands on Steve’s shoulders.

 

“Really?”

 

Steve smiled down at Danny and lifted a hand to push an errant lock of hair from Danny’s forehead.

 

“Yeah, I mean…maybe it will sound stupid but I feel like I actually love you a little more than I did before because part of her love for you is inside me. It’s like, she bequeathed me her love for you and I have to take care of it and make sure you always feel it and always know it’s there.”

 

Danny took a shuddering breath and he pressed his lips together as his eyes flooded with tears.

 

“Steve,” he whispered softly. “My god, how did I get so lucky?”

 


End file.
